I want to spread the message that if you are hurting today and find absolutely nothing good in this world this afternoon, Good for you!! We can’t be inspirational all the time, or even any of the time for most. Finding meaning in our pain is a lifelong process that some of us are lucky to find a little bit, or if you’re super lucky, you will use your pain to make a life worth living for YOU!
I give this shout out today as I found out a third person I’ve known now in 5 months committed suicide as they just couldn’t get over the pain of their life. It takes courage to live as long as you can when you feel so awful. It takes courage to secretly live a life so painful that no one even knew this person was suicidal. How courageous that they protected us all from their pain so we could all be ok while they were suffering the ultimate suffering?!
I absolutely don’t advocate suicide, but I understand what brings a person to that point as I have been there more times than I ever admit. But there was also courage in this person’s choice. Am I intensely sad they are gone? Yes. Am I intensely befallen with grief that I couldn’t help? Absolutely. Am I intensely enraged that another friend of mine is dead because they couldn’t see the beauty I saw? More than you can ever imagine. I am happy in that I can only hope they are finding some peace before their spirit moves onto whatever is next. Well, “happy” is the wrong word, it’s more like I find solace in hoping they are finding some peace.
I also just want to give a shout out for all my friends that I’ve attempted to help this past week. So many of you are completely lost in the pain of depression or allowing others to hurt you. So I applaud you for making the choice to live through it. I admire the courage you are all engaging in to make it another day when people around you cause you to question your goodness or you are believing your inner critic telling you that you aren’t good enough. Shout out Shout out Shout out for continuing on as I’m getting sick of my friends dying.
If you’re having a particularly rough day, contact me. If you know me personally, then contact me personally. If you don’t, send me an email via this blog.
Today I am sitting with gratitude that I can share what has made my life better. It’s not that my life is amazing and easy, but every moment gets the slightest bit better, even the super painful ones.
I promise to share more of my personal story and how I came to this place. I have just been contemplating how and what to tell as I don’t want to do it in a triggering manner, but a way you will all see that it was a lot of work, and I come to this place in complete honesty of knowing a life that was beyond hard.
Just remember, shout out to the suffering today!