Last week, there was this one day that every time I answered the phone or tried to deal with the outside world, it just turned to crap. I was sitting at the dinner table with my son and opened a letter stating that my income source had been cut off. It was something about me not being disabled anymore. Anyway, I started just sobbing. My son immediately came over to me to hug me and just pat me. I knew it was going to take me a bit to get myself together, so I sent him into the other room to go do something to distract himself from my emotional mess.
The next day, the school counselor called and said my showing my emotions was scaring my child. I think the point of the call was to be supportive, but it was extremely demeaning.
I honestly feel that my son seeing me have healthy emotions about a situation that was sad and stressful is not only ok, but a good thing. I didn’t do anything outlandish. I was simply crying, and as I said, after a couple minutes, I sent him to go do something else while I gathered myself.
In my home growing up, the only emotions I ever saw were intense rage and intense happiness. Maybe if I would have seen my mom cry when she was stressed or sad about something that was worthy of these feelings, I wouldn’t be so terrified of emotions now. I think it’s good to show sadness to others when something is legitimately sad, especially our children. I put on a persona of everything being so happy in my life. Not showing how hurt I was is probably a huge factor in why I had extreme suicidal depression up until I really decided to work on it about a year ago. Stuffing my feelings also came out as awful anxiety that I couldn’t do anything to get rid of, well, until I started crying and showing real emotions.
How do you feel about this? Do you feel it’s important to show others that you may be hurting? Do you think healthy examples of crying in front of your children is a good thing?
I’m really interested in what others have to say as being a survivor of extreme trauma, sometimes I don’t really know if what I’m doing is right? I do know that it is healthy to have a range of emotions and express all of them!