These are such bittersweet times for me. I’m going on my 3rd night in the hospital without an end in sight. My physical body has just collapsed from such a hard life. I highly recommend the book, “the body keeps the score” by Bessel van der Kolk if you are dealing with PTSD and any kind of chronic illness. He gives an explanation of the connection.
I say bittersweet as I keep feeling so alone, yet a new person sends a message or shows up in person or offers to do something for me that I could never figure out, like help me make medical decisions
You have to understand, I have spent my entire life believing that people are nothing but disappointment and will only leave in the end. My reality is that as I open up to accept people want to help, and I get specific in my needs, the most loving group keep showing up in my life. Not everyone can be everything to you, but having a variety of people means that my needs do get met. Can you imagine that if you ask for what you need very specifically that 9 times out of 10, people come through??!! I never asked for what I needed before, so I got nothing, and then I felt like the world hated me. It wasn’t true. The world didn’t hate me. I hated me.
I don’t know what will happen with my health or if I’ll make it through the major surgery being proposed due to my immune system issues, but all I can do is try to keep my light inside burning a few moments longer.
So bittersweet as it took my being so sick physically to learn true love also equals asking for what you need.
I challenge you today to ask one person for something you need. It can be simple or complex, buy you choose, and I hope they come through!!