(This is the view from my hospital room. The amazing changes in the colors of the sky made me cry. Tissue anyone??)
Have a major anxiety problem? Been diagnosed with GAD and tried every medication on the psychiatrist’s docket without it easing? Me too, but then I started to get in touch with my feelings.
It’s a tremendously hard thing to do as those feelings from the past wanted to stay inside and hide forever. I figured out though that I had a constant spinning in my body, and I often trembled and was nauseous and anxiety made me so sick that I had to call into work often. It was an out of control nightmare.
People told me to breathe and meditate and do yoga. I began to do those things, and it was helpful, but always that spinning ball of energy inside.
You know what no one told me to do to get rid of anxiety? Actually go through it. Cry a lot and often and about everything. I had to start carrying lots of Kleenex in my car and purse as the tears felt endless.
One day, I was overcome with calm after so many tears. I then knew the anxiety came out with the tears. While breathing and yoga and meditation are very helpful, they just give you a break. Those feelings of sorrow or hope or heartbreak or grief or whatever is stuck spinning inside will continue until it comes out.
I’m in a highly stressful and anxiety producing situation. I’ve been in the hospital for days now as my legs no longer work. I had to make a decision today to go with major surgery on my spinal cord or not walk or intermittently be able to walk. I was starting to get the spinning feeling as my surgery is complicated by my other health issues, so I cried as I’m very sorrowful as my surgery comes with a very lengthy recovery. I want to be running and traveling and having it easy as it was just a few weeks ago.
People won’t think you’re weird for crying in public. In fact, I’ve received huge love from strangers for crying in public. It makes you look real. Today, a nurse came in while I was crying and gave me a smile, a tissue, and a “let it out!”
So please feel the feelings no matter how painful. If you need someone to cry with, email me and we can figure out a way to cry together!