Spirituality can be a difficult subject for even the most “normal” of us. I denied myself a spiritual life up until a little over a year ago when I began to explore what spirituality really meant for me.
My mom told me that I was purely evil inside and that my soul was black. Her mantra to me was, “god would never love a person like you”. I’m sorry if that was triggering to hear, but I tell you as I have come to realize I’m not the only one who was told these damaging things, believed them wholeheartedly, and thought I was the only “evil” person since birth roaming the planet. I’m not evil and if someone told you the same thing, you are NOT evil either.
Anyway, so it probably makes sense why I would avoid spirituality all together. Why would I explore something that had been so wrongly taken from me?
It’s been a slow process to explore. I first jumped with both feet in asking everyone I knew questions about their spiritual life. It was overwhelming as I wasn’t learning about spirituality, I was learning about people’s religions. I’m not ready for that for a whole different reason I can get into another time.
I met a woman last March who is so spiritual and insightful and recommended i read “The Untethered Soul”. That book began to open my eyes to real spirituality and not religion.
Spirituality for me right now is about recognizing the cycles in nature and how they continue without fail. It’s not only recognizing the cycles, but when something is particularly striking to me and beautiful, I take a moment to reflect on it and connect it to the cycles in my own life. The content and joyous times cycle with feelings that hurt and are painful, but they always cycle back around for me, just like in nature.
It may sound strange, but I’m particularly looking forward to spring this year to notice the blossoms on the trees as they bud out to turn to beautiful flowers. It’s not because spring, budding trees are beautiful, but because I need to see all these “dead” trees of winter be born again to something wonderful. I’m using the cycles of nature to keep myself motivated to continue on and be the best I can in my own life.
This picture I took out the window yesterday of the sunrise. The cycle of the sun rising and setting moves me more than I can express.
Enjoy the cycles around you. Everything keeps going around from death to beauty to homeostasis.