Doing More Work. My Trauma is Obviously Stored in My Body

(A picture mishap, but I liked the intense sun it captured)

There’s no question that trauma and physical illnesses are connected. I’ve written about it before. Many people with trauma never get diagnosed for their physical complaints and are left being told it’s “just” anxiety. That was me for many years.

I guess I got lucky in the sense that my physical complaints have all been backed by lab testing, imaging, testing, etc, so my physical ailments are “real” now. My problem has been that every time I feel some stress, I feel so much worse. My feeling worse is always backed up again by testing of some sort, but my gut feeling is that I need to do more trauma work.

I’ve avoided doing much in this sense as I worked really hard the last couple months of 2017 through going to treatment for my trauma and felt like I could take on the world.

Trauma treatment DID help. I’m not plagued by horrible anxiety or depression and have learned to feel my feelings and take good care of myself and know true peace… So clearly it helped, but my trauma is stored in my cells. My physical body remembers even though my cognitive self has processed it.

I’m lucky that I met a therapist around a year ago who I initially was going to go to group therapy with. He’s no regular therapist like I’ve ever met. He’s a huge advocate of yoga and meditation and really processing what’s in your body. He’s already done lots of meditation with me over the past several months that was immensely helpful.

Anyway, our new focus will be on somatic processing and shadow work as I reached out to him yesterday with a call for help! I have never wanted to do EMDR as I don’t feel it’s my path. I just wanted to let people know there are ways to process trauma other than EMDR or just talking about it.

I’m excited to start, and I’ll keep you updated on the process.

I’m proud of myself for feeling grounded enough, present enough, and peaceful enough to take this next step.

My health will never be perfect, but this will compliment the incredible job my medical team is doing to try to get me to a place where I can have some kind of life again where I actually leave the house.

If you are interested in this type of therapy work, look for a “hakomi” trained therapist or psychologist.



6 thoughts on “Doing More Work. My Trauma is Obviously Stored in My Body”

  1. Good luck. I do trauma (and EDS) modified yoga. I do think it helps. I’ve never done shadow work, but it sounds a bit like some of the treatment for trauma-related dissociation, or maybe even like Internal Family Systems from what I’ve learned of it.


    1. I do yoga everyday (of course modified for what I’m capable), but even with that and meditation, I need more body work. I definitely have worked hard on my dissociation, but always room for improvement!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah. I’ve been working through the book Treating Trauma Related Dissociation as an adjunct. It’s geared for anyone with C-PTSD up through the full end of the dissociation spectrum. I do like that it doesn’t worry about categorizing the trauma experience and just says “if any of these experiences resonate, feel free to use this book. You don’t have to experience every bit to borrow techniques.”


    1. I think someone else recommended that book and may even have it on my bookshelf. I kind of had to take a year off from therapy as I couldn’t quite find the right fit or I just couldn’t get there due to being sick. I also needed the time to get to know myself without a therapist telling me how to do it. Many of my answers were within and found the therapists I mostly tried to work with in 2018 completely discounted my ability to hear so much of myself just by going inside. A little outside the box for a therapist and perhaps a bit #toomuch!


      1. Heh. I’m just terrified of most anyone involved in a system because of my own history of being #toomuch, er fighting systemic abuse. My current therapist is the only good one I’ve found, but doing independent trauma work was important for so much of my life. I do find that one useful- and since I may have to cut down therapy frequency if I get a new job further from her office, I’m hoping it might make up for some of it. I don’t see myself getting a different therapist, so adjunct work like yoga and that self-guided book will help.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I completely understand that. I had a therapist that bordered on abusive and what other professionals have said is that her boundaries were REALLY bad, so after years of therapy, I decided I needed to go it alone. I’m so glad I took the time. I’m ready for some guidance now and I trust the new therapist. He’s a true healer. I have another book you may like called, “writing ourselves whole: using the power of your own creativity to recover and heal from sexual trauma”. I haven’t finished it, but I like what I’ve done.

        Liked by 1 person

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