(A picture mishap, but I liked the intense sun it captured)
There’s no question that trauma and physical illnesses are connected. I’ve written about it before. Many people with trauma never get diagnosed for their physical complaints and are left being told it’s “just” anxiety. That was me for many years.
I guess I got lucky in the sense that my physical complaints have all been backed by lab testing, imaging, testing, etc, so my physical ailments are “real” now. My problem has been that every time I feel some stress, I feel so much worse. My feeling worse is always backed up again by testing of some sort, but my gut feeling is that I need to do more trauma work.
I’ve avoided doing much in this sense as I worked really hard the last couple months of 2017 through going to treatment for my trauma and felt like I could take on the world.
Trauma treatment DID help. I’m not plagued by horrible anxiety or depression and have learned to feel my feelings and take good care of myself and know true peace… So clearly it helped, but my trauma is stored in my cells. My physical body remembers even though my cognitive self has processed it.
I’m lucky that I met a therapist around a year ago who I initially was going to go to group therapy with. He’s no regular therapist like I’ve ever met. He’s a huge advocate of yoga and meditation and really processing what’s in your body. He’s already done lots of meditation with me over the past several months that was immensely helpful.
Anyway, our new focus will be on somatic processing and shadow work as I reached out to him yesterday with a call for help! I have never wanted to do EMDR as I don’t feel it’s my path. I just wanted to let people know there are ways to process trauma other than EMDR or just talking about it.
I’m excited to start, and I’ll keep you updated on the process.
I’m proud of myself for feeling grounded enough, present enough, and peaceful enough to take this next step.
My health will never be perfect, but this will compliment the incredible job my medical team is doing to try to get me to a place where I can have some kind of life again where I actually leave the house.
If you are interested in this type of therapy work, look for a “hakomi” trained therapist or psychologist.