(I was having a tremor/ muscle contraction in my neck and shoulder in this picture)
Sometimes I fear asking for help as I fear there will be no response and really will make me feel terrible. When you need so much, a “no” can feel really hard even though you know it may be temporary.
I’m in the hospital, again. Unfortunately, I have been shaking and jerking uncontrollably for 8 days. I have had so many doctors try to diagnose me with MS, but never managed to be positive for all markers. The neurology team believe this is MS or another neurological disease.
So when I talk about asking for help, I need people to check on my dogs, want visitors, and put on Facebook that I really wanted someone to bring me a book. Reading would be a lovely distraction from all this jerking and shaking. No one came through with a book.
I will tell you what did happen that is better than a book. In a recent blog post, I wrote about my giving too much, feeling overwhelmed, then having to just back out leaving us both hurt. This happened with a young woman I met several years ago and was instantly connected to in a mentoring capacity. Recently our friendship ended as she made mistakes, and I certainly did too. I always left the door to communicate open and hoped she would turn the knob eventually.
Last night she messaged with her apologies and responded with mine. I was elated to hear from her. She came and hung out for a long time last night at the hospital. She made me laugh and distracted me from the intense fear I’m having over my physical health. I look forward to a healthy friendship with her where we can both be clear in our boundaries to make our relationship fulfilling and rewarding.
So I didn’t get a book, but got some love. Love is definitely best than a book (a little better!). So if any of my Reno readers want to stop by, I’m at renown regional under my legal name!
So looks like I’m going to be asking for lots of help. I’m asking my blog readers to help by sending good thoughts, or praying, or whatever your way is to help someone sick. They haven’t figured anything out yet, so direct your thoughts on diagnosis!
So many people have been telling me about reading my blog. I sincerely appreciate it.
PS I love and appreciate you KS!