I don’t know if anyone reading this blog has ever experienced IVIG, but it’s always a miracle when your insurance finally approves it and feels like the miracle of miracles is coming.
It was a rough week full of moderate headache, nausea, and debilitating fatigue for the most part, but Friday evening and Saturday morning I felt like I had turned a corner. I had some feeling back in my right foot and Saturday morning gave me energy. I had plans on Sunday to make some new connections and was ready to be social.
Then Saturday night hit. I have been dealing with a migraine headache, been vomiting, slept 18 hours today, General malaise, lost my appetite, and a sore throat. I admit I was feeling very angry that illness has once again ruined my plan to meet new people. I recognize that people don’t understand about my illnesses as they only tend to see me when I feel well enough to go out, which is a markedly different me compared to the one that is stuck in bed most days. It’s just ruined a lot of friendships as I understand it doesn’t make sense.
Perhaps IVIG will still be a miracle for me. I have a couple weeks to be able to tell. I do know that I’ve been debating all day about going to the emergency room as I have the classic symptoms of aseptic meningitis from IVIG treatment. I also know that the light, sound, and long wait in such a public place as the emergency room would be too much given my symptoms.
I posted to a Facebook group about post IVIG yuckiness. They gave me some good ideas about how to medicate to relieve some of this. I took a large handful of pills and can now look at my phone for the first time in 24 hours for any length of time.
I’m still grateful I had the chance to try IVIG treatment and perhaps I will have the opportunity again with a different medication and hydration plan. I do know that right now I’m miserable. I’m still considering going to the ER or just holding out to call the neurologist when they open in the morning.
I’m still digging deep to find my inner peace. I’m so glad I have a deep yoga practice that goes beyond what I do on a yoga mat in class. It’s times like these where I’m utterly physically miserable that my yoga practice is most important. It reminds me of strength of mind and body. I use it to keep calm in the face of huge physical adversity. So despite feeling like my body is having a war inside, I’m calm and still able to have hope about a very uncertain future.
I encourage you to find something that allows you to find peace even in the rough times whether you deal with physical illness, mental illness, or both.