Abandoned: Probably the Wrong Assumption

After days and days of horrible migraine, nausea, vomiting, losing my appetite, and shivering, for almost the entire IVIG week and the subsequent days after, I called the neurologist. I was promised pre infusion that if I had any complications, they would get me in immediately.

After suffering through the weekend, I called the neurologist first thing Monday morning. With my light and noise sensitivity being so bad, I probably whispered in the phone, “I’m having bad complications from the IVIG”. I got a hasty reply of “go to urgent care”. I gently reminded her I was told I would be seen immediately. I then got a hasty, “well, we have no openings”. I asked if I could at least leave my symptoms as I personally knew I’d have to go to the ER and ours is generally a 4 hour wait. There was no way I could manage that. I didn’t receive a call back.

It was strange as I’ve NEVER had a bad interaction with them. In fact, I genuinely appreciate them. Being a survivor of developmental trauma, I immediately go to the idea that I must be the one that did something bad. With my trauma healing, I recognize I’m actually not the problem in most cases. Making assumptions about why people are acting the way they are will only lead you down the dark rabbit hole of despair and isolation. Yes, I went there for a bit, but I also recognized I was sending myself there. I also realized that several days of being in a literal dark cave will send you into a rabbit hole of despair too as physical pain is intense.

After taking round the clock nausea medication and some other suggestions from IVIG knowledgeable friends, I felt slightly better today. I was even able to get my new, sparkly pink wheelchair. (Making the transition to a wheelchair is a whole different topic I’ll save for another time)

I just wanted to make the point that making assumptions about others behavior is damaging to only yourself. After my assumptions being proven wrong, time after time, I have figured out it’s pointless. If you need clarification as to why someone is behaving a certain way towards you, just ask–gently. And the neurologist called 2 days later. I missed the call as I kept my phone on silent.

Love

Lizzie

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